plugins/roa: add rules of acquisition
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@ -282,24 +282,25 @@ type Plugins []Plugin
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// Plugs defines the "enabled" plugins.
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var Plugs = Plugins{
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&Ban{},
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&BananaStab{},
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&Ban{},
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&Beat{},
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&Llama{},
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&Beer{},
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&BotSnack{},
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&DMR{},
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&Feder{},
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&Groan{},
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&Ham{},
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&Hi{},
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&HighFive{},
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&Hi{},
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&Homestead{},
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&Llama{},
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&LoveYou{},
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&OpenBSDMan{},
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&Palette{},
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&PGP{},
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&Palette{},
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&RFC{},
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&ROA{},
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&Salute{},
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&Snap{},
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&Songwhip{},
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152
plugins/roa.go
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152
plugins/roa.go
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@ -0,0 +1,152 @@
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package plugins
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import (
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"math/rand"
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"regexp"
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"github.com/matrix-org/gomatrix"
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)
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// ROA sends a random rule
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type ROA struct {
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}
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// Descr describes this plugin
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func (h *ROA) Descr() string {
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return "Rules of Acquisition."
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}
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// Re checks for roa:
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func (h *ROA) Re() string {
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return `(?i)^roa:$`
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}
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// Match determines if we are asking for an roa
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func (h *ROA) Match(user, msg string) bool {
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re := regexp.MustCompile(h.Re())
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return re.MatchString(msg)
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}
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// SetStore we don't need a store here
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func (h *ROA) SetStore(_ PluginStore) {}
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// Process
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func (h *ROA) Process(from, post string) string {
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a := []string{
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`1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.`,
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`2 The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.`,
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`3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.`,
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`4 A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.`,
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`5 If you can't break a contract, bend it.`,
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`6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.`,
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`7 Keep your ears open.`,
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`9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.`,
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`10 Greed is eternal.`,
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`11 Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.`,
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`12 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.`,
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`13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.`,
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`14 Anything stolen is pure profit.`,
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`15 Acting stupid is often smart.`,
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`16 A deal is a deal.`,
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`17 A contract is a contract is a contract ... but only between Ferengi.`,
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`18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.`,
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`19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.`,
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`21 Never place friendship above profit.`,
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`22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.`,
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`23 Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money.`,
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`24 Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.`,
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`25 You can't make a deal if you're dead.`,
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`27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.`,
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`31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.`,
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`33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.`,
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`34 War is good for business`,
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`35 Peace is good for business.`,
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`45 Expand or die.`,
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`47 Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.`,
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`48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.`,
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`52 Never ask when you can take.`,
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`57 Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.`,
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`58 There is no substitute for success.`,
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`59 Free advice is seldom cheap.`,
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`60 Keep your lies consistent.`,
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`62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.`,
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`65 Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.`,
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`69 When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay.`,
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`74 Knowledge equals profit.`,
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`75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.`,
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`76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.`,
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`79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.`,
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`82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.`,
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`85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.`,
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`89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.`,
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`94 Females and finances don't mix.`,
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`95 Expand or die.`,
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`97 Enough...is never enough.`,
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`98 Every man has his price.`,
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`99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.`,
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`102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.`,
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`103 Sleep can interfere with an opportunity.`,
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`104 Faith moves mountains...of inventory.`,
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`106 There is no honor in poverty.`,
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`109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.`,
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`111 Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.`,
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`112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.`,
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`113 Always have sex with the boss.`,
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`121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.`,
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`123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.`,
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`125 You can't make a deal if you're dead.`,
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`139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.`,
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`141 Only fools pay retail.`,
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`144 There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.`,
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`162 Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.`,
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`168 Whisper your way to success.`,
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`177 Know your enemies...but do business with them always.`,
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`181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.`,
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`189 Let others keep their reputation...you keep their latinum.`,
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` - A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.`,
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`190 Hear all, trust nothing.`,
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`192 Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it.`,
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`194 It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.`,
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`202 The justification for profit is profit.`,
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`203 New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.`,
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`208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.`,
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`211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.`,
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`214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.`,
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`217 You can't free a fish from water.`,
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`218 Always know what you're buying.`,
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`223 (incomplete, but presumably concerned the relationship between "keeping busy" and "being successful")`,
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`229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.`,
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`236 You can't buy fate.`,
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`239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.`,
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`242 More is good...all is better.`,
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`255 A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.`,
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`261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.`,
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`263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.`,
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`266 When in doubt, lie.`,
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`284 Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.`,
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`285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.`,
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`286 When Morn leaves, it's all over.`,
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`299 After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.`,
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`- Exploitation begins at home.`,
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`(The unwritten rule) When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.`,
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`- When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits ... kill the messenger.`,
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`- Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.`,
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`- Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.`,
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`- Money is money, but females are better.`,
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`- Why ask, when you can take?`,
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`- A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.`,
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`- If that's what's written, then that's what's written.`,
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}
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return a[rand.Intn(len(a))]
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}
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// RespondText
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func (h *ROA) RespondText(c *gomatrix.Client, ev *gomatrix.Event, _, _ string) error {
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return SendText(c, ev.RoomID, h.Process(ev.Sender, ""))
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}
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// Name ROA
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func (h *ROA) Name() string {
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return "ROA"
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}
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